nobody knows what its like .

C , you justt hadd to post that lahh . 

HAHAH ! ;)

so updates on my day .

i woke up went to the saloon , steamed my hair and curled it alil .

hahah . 

then went tesco , and bought some stuff .

then , came back got ready for the family gathering thang at jess's house .

2 of my aunts & 1 uncle missed it , so it isn't "complete" yet .

mission's not accomplish because my grandmama wants ALL her kids to be there .

anyways , i was surprised that my dad and the 3 i dont know what to call them , i feel disgusted to say brothers .

yah they came .

it was awkward for me .

i never really talk to anyone .

just being a loner and eating my ass off .

like i felt like crying suddenly cause of the lonliness .

like no one gets it .

but thank GOD for jess and bob .

i was hangin out with them for abit .

i can be sitting in the midst of so damn many ppl and feel like im the only one .

like im not important .

and the 2 shitfaces have each other to talk to , that is No.2 & No.3 .

and No.1 has a gf who cares . like he has all the love in the world .

his current gf lovesss him to death ! 

like it doesnt even matter if we dont love him .

anyways , yah .

my point is that , its kinda like being the only kid , but WORST .

having brothers who treat you like shit is not cool .

and if i had one its okay , or 2 .

i have 4 ! 

and gahhhhh , i just don't know .

bob's at jesse's staying over and im feeling even more lonely .

i know i have God .

but it's nice to know someone from your family cares ?

it's like i don't even exist .

ppl think i get what i want , that im a princess , but its all like not true .

and you guys should know .

im just glad i get to pour my emotions here , and i dont expect pityness or wtv crap .

it just feels nice that someone is listenin .

so yeap , God will take my lonliness away .

and i'll wait patiently for His appointed time .

i'm not gonna go search for a guy just to ease this pain .

no , im gonna fight through this .

i'll get use to it .

see that's why whenever A & lil'A left that day , i cried .

when they were here its like they're my sisters and like i feel so loved .

and when they're gone , the lonliness sets in .

and it's not only with A's , with all of you , i feel that way as well .

& i gotta admit that i am a lil like " damn i wish i had a sis " when i look at A & lil'A .

haih .

i just gotta live and deal with it i guess .

i wanna achieve bigtime in this lifetime .

& im never gonna forget the friends who stuck by me through all this bitterness  .

i love you girls so damn much .

nitey nites lovers , LYLAS ! 

xo , S .