It's been a while.

Hey!

How is everyone?

-S1

I ran over.. mouldy pizza.. because I have 11 toes.

SOMEONE, Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease remind me to reply here tmr! I have been forgetting all week! POST ON IT"S WAY!

From The Bottom Of My Heart

S1,

A part of me really wished and hoped that you would have done something to save this. I felt sad that every time I typed www.6besties.blogspot.com to see nothing from you. I hoped that you wouldn't be like last time that you would actually make an effort. What I said may have been harsh or may have hurt you but I only wrote it because I couldn't go on pretending that everything was okay when deep inside me I felt so much trouble and hurt. I kept it inside me for so long because I didn't want to hurt anyone or the friendship but I just couldn't do it anymore because things were about to go back to how it was again last time. Pretend we made up but actually we still don't like each other or more like you don't like me. I can't change who I am to suit your mood or your way because I am who I am. I have flaws, I have issues yes but I'm not gonna change to make you happy. You have your own flaws but I don't expect you to change, I don't expect you to please me or whatever. I accepted you for who you were but sadly you couldn't for me. I really thought that you were my best friend. I always thought that you would always be my best friend that could understand me. I told you everything. But you betrayed me. I loved hanging out with you. I look at all the pictures and I'm like damn I miss those moments. I miss laughing at the most stupidest things with you. All the boy giggles, the fun I thought I had with you. I think back of all the times we stayed over each other's houses and talk all sort of nonsense.

I guess you don't really need me or anyone of us maybe except for lil A and A. I am disappointed that you don't want this. I am sad and I am hurt. But I can't change your mind or how you think about something to please me. I hoped that somehow things would have changed. I have people asking me "You know what just ditch everything, just ditch her."" Why are you even doing this?""Why do you even want friends like this?" I don't even know how to answer. A part of me says because you're my best friend and no matter how mad I am with you, you would always be my best friend. I may have ignored you, I may have said stuff about you, I may have treated you like crapped but whenever I say I'm sorry to you I meant everything. I may have said I don't even wanna do this anymore, I don't wanna be your friend, I give up but I didn't want to. I kept holding on to the fact that one day you'll change, one day all this will be stupid and gone. But it's not. I'm in Canada now and I miss having a best friend like you. I want to tell you about everything that has happened, I wanna know what's going on in Oklahoma.  I came to Canada and I told myself I'm gonna make right to all my wrongs. But when I came here, I lost two people that meant so much to me. One was you, S1 and the other was TK.

But you know what S1? I can only do until so much until I can't do anything anymore. I don't wanna push you, I don't wanna force you and I don't wanna be a burden and trouble to you and your family. I am trying so hard to not cry right now while typing this. But if you don't wanna do this anymore then I can't do anything anymore. Because it's your decisions.
I hope that one day you can realize that I did this only so that I could have my best friend back. I still care for you. At times i ask the other girls how you are not because I have to but because I want to. I hope all is well for you right now. Maybe one day long long time from now we can look back and laugh at all this.

For now, I'm done. I'm sorry guys, I can't do this anymore. I have way too many problems of my own that I'm trying to deal with. I can't go on pretending anymore. I'm sorry if I disappointed you or if I let go so fast but this has hurt me so much. More than a heartbreak from TK. Because every little thing is pulling me down, and hurting me even more. And maybe when you guys all sort your problems out, we should just close this blog. It's no point anymore. I hope you understand this. I really do hope you would, and maybe if you open your heart and mind a bit bigger you may understand me. I am hurt you guys, I really am. I wouldn't push you guys to do something that would hurt you so please don't do this to me.

I love you all with all my heart,

C

Raincheck

So I have totally been checking the blog when I have time but there are no updates. I know I am due for a post but I cant do it now. Dont worry, this means alot and it is coming when I get the chance. I still have things to say I just havent posted yet.
In the meantime. please pray for my grandma. She is in the hospital with gallstones.  I stayed the night with her there kast night. Later guys. Gong Xi Fa Chai

time to face the music .

hey everybody :) so i seriously have no idea why yall aren't updating the blog . i mean this really goes to show how much yall want to resolve this and go on as best friends again . S1 , could you please just post something . and both A and lil A also . i'm sure yall got something to say . and if you have nothing , just say okay , i heard yall loud and clear lets move on . we can't be waiting forever honestly . if you truly value us , then just take a few minutes off and write to us . if not , i guess we don't mean a thing to you anymore .

Why is the blog dead? I hope you do know that ignoring this won't make things better or better yet go away. 

brutal only for the better .

okayyyyyy , so heres my "OUTRAGEOUS RAGE" post . im kidding okay , a little humorrrr people ? hahah . okay but on to the serious note , i'm glad everyone's just releasing everything here , we're going in the right direction peeps ! so from my side what i wanna say is that yes , A & lil A , you guys don't seem to see a problem here . like helllooo , yes , we'll all get to reconciliation and making up but we can't just ditch the cause of this whole thing and move on you know ? its like if your husband had sex with another lady then yall just like say okay , lets just move on and forget it ? it will surely bound to happen again , i can tell you that . because if you guys dont sit and talk to each other about the ROOT problem , then how are yall gonna move on leaving everything behind and knowing that it will never happen again ? its not entirely the same but you get the picture . A , you said you're inching towards what i said but honestly , IT'S FACT . i just don't get why you cannot accept it and get on with it ? i'm not forcing you to agree with me about it but just like open up your mind and look at things differently you know . look at things in a bigger picture , don't just limit youtself to one thing and stick to that . i think yall can be stubborn sometimes , lil A and A . like there must be an explanation for every single thing and yall just wont look at it like okay , how can i change and learn from this . you know , i think yall and C have been through so much already and yet its sad to say this but honestly , i think you guys just don't get her sometimes . different people have different feelings and emotions and way of thinking and we just gotta respect and accept people for the way they are you know ? you need to learn how to approach someone without hurting them . you guys are honest , direct and all . and its a GOOD thing , but i feel like maybe you guys are pushing it sometimes . like over direct and it really can hurt someone so i guess you guys just need to put other people's feelings into consideration you know . & about the whole let C and S1 resolve their problems ? i mean seriously , we are ALL like in this sisterhood thing okay . and if let say your big sisters K and L okay , they were fighting and they're not talking and you guys hang out with L more than K . yes K is busy and all but you guys seldom talk to her also then when you get to hang out with K , L gets abit like left out , like obviously rite ? cause she and K's not talking and it will be awkward so she's left out then when you hang out with L , K gets left out and you can just be okay with it ? you're not gonna stop them and say okay listen here , we're all sisters and wtv shit probs yall have yall need to deal with it and talk it out and we'll help yall through it but you guys needa start somewhere sorta thing ? i don't think it's right to say it's okay if S1 and C don't wanna be friends because yall heard it from S1 that she's okay with making up and all and C also is okay with it . We all have God and honestly , whoever doesn't want to forgive or reconcile then how are you potraying the One you serve ? i hope yall get what i'm trying to say here okay cause i used alot of examples . & i told yall that day , i also felt abit left out at S1's house on NYE sleepover . i guess you guys are so used to going there and stuff that i feel like a stranger almost . like you guys are so at home and stuff and im just like an outsider . maybe its my fault for feeling that or maybe there was something wrong with me but like why would i feel that way if you guys actually cared about my feelings . lil A , when you told me i had a annoying new squeeky laugh , i was really like WTH . i can take wtv shit criticizes but like my best friend telling me that and you were like " im serious" with your wtv tone that was , i was honestly taken aback . it's hurtful okay and i don't get why you can't see that ? people have feelings , and you can call me sensitive and wtv but thats just the way it is you know ? its like what i said up there , too direct already that it just comes off as very hurtful . sometimes you need to keep your opinions to yourself also lah i feel , if it can help a person then maybe okay approach them in a nice way and tell them . but if its like pointless then just like keep it you know , instead of hurting someone . & about L , A i told you you were a little harsh and you said you didn't mean it that way but okay its fine , like thats the whole point we're doing this . & now that L has spoken , i feel like yeah , its true . she's not really picking sides because she does know how it feels like . she knows what C is going through and she feels the same way . it's not like she jumping on the bandwagon and saying go C all the way or wtv . so you need to take all this into consideration lah before jumping into conclusion . and you must also see like why are we saying like you are closer to S1 and all like you must see why ? don't just be like "dont clump me up in a group" and all that when clearly thats not what we're trying to do . okay , don't get worked up about what i just said okay , i'm not trying to be rude or anything but once i start , everything just comes out . so yeapp . & S1 , i don't know , i feel like you've changed DRASTICALLY from who you were before . i feel like you were much much much nicer to me last time and you were a much nicer person and stuff . i mean you're still nice but i guess i just lost connection with you . like we're only best friends by name when in reality , i don't talk to you that much and i don't know anything about you anymore . when i come over to your house , i ask you for a shirt , you couldn't borrow me one ? and whenever i ask something , i get ignored ? honestly , im done with it . im not gonna ask you for anything anymore cause im the one looking like a stupid shit . in the first place , i shouldn't have asked anything . sometimes i wonder , do you have emotions ? like can you not see someone in need ? sorry if thi s hurts you but its how i feel . i also feel like i don't know whether you're a good friend or not . cause every friend that you're with , you'll end up coming to us and saying a bunch of shit about them and i can't help but wonder , do you do the same when you're with them ? do you bitch about us ? there is a reason why i think all this okay , can't be like suddenly pop into my head and i wanna cari pasal or wtv . i think you need to grow up and be a good person . you're gorgeous you know and you're pretty , you've got everything you need , life is going good your whole future's there you dont have to worry but if you dont have a good soul and heart , all this are pointless . i honestly want to see you become a better person S1 , i know the girl whom i know at first is somewhere in there , just find who you really are . find the real you . and don't give in to peer pressure ! you need to come to a point in your life where you're gonna be like "i'm gonna be the influencer(a good one that is) and not be the one being influenced by others" . if its a good influence then yea ALL THE WAY but if its not i think you need to put your feet down . and i think you've turn into this prideful person . before this , you were like on the low and all but now i can see major differences . so maybe you can work on that ? so yeah , basicly thats what ive got to say lah . i think C and S1 , you guys need to think about us also , we're your sisters and we want to see yall happy so would you guys seriously just say whatever yall need to say to each other , call each other bitches wtv , yell at each other , cat fight throw a whole glass jar at each other but after yall are done with all that , can yall just open up your hearts and see that theres still something there in your friendship ? it's impossible that you guys dont wanna be friends EVER , thats absurd . i trust that you guys are matured young ladies who know how to handle your life right . you two have an amazing amazing friendship so why the hell go and throw it all away ? S1 , GET IT RIGHT seriously . if you have to confess anything or cuss or wtv , nows the time . C released already so its your turn then yall can swee what went wrong and we wont have to go through this shit drama ever ! okay ? :) so i guess thats what i've got to say for now . sorry if this came out harsh because as much as i wanna say i dont mean it , i cant because all this just came out , im seriously not thinking about what to say or getting stuck halfway or wtv , all this just came out so you can see that im being real and honest . its hard for me to be so crude but nows the time where we all get to be 13itches and rude and wtv because after this , its RECONCIALIATION time and theres NO TURNING BACK towards this DRAMA . i hope through this , we can all change to be better friends and work on strenghtening out relationship . we will always be the 6besties FOREVER okay ? no matter what i've just said , i love you girls and its only to express how i feel cause i wanna be real . okay so im ready for the worst , for wtv comebacks or wtv yall wanna say to my face , just say it . im ready .

love , S .