So much were left unsaid.

Rest in peace, J. Louis. You will be extremely missed. 

When our mutual friend told me J passed away, I wasn't convinced. The minute I got home, I checked J's FB page to see if he really did go. He really did. I just can't accept that he's gone. My brain is still processing his departure from this world.

He was a good friend despite our short-term friendship. He was encouraging, honest, considerate and real. I miss talking to him. I looked forward to his message(s) everyday. I should have replied him straight after I read his message. I should have continued our conversation instead of procrastinating my reply. I shouldn't have neglected him.

Ugh, I hate myself.

Everything happens for a reason.

Today, S and I met with an accident. I kissed the car in front of me. It was a Honda Accord. The car's bumper was slightly damaged. But my car's bonnet and one headlight was damaged severely. When I crashed, I panicked. I was like, "Oh my gosh!" Or god, I forgot which g-word I used.

I wasn't thinking straight, I panicked, like hello. I got off my car and went straight to the car I kissed ass with. The driver was a lady and her makeup was bad, according to S. The lady was like, "What happened?" Her tone sounded a little sarcastic but it's okay, I guess she didn't know what to say. So, I said, "I'm really sorry, I didn't realize you braked. And when I hit the brakes, I didn't brake in time." Then, she said, "We have to make a police report." I panicked more and I was like, "What, really?" Because my previous accident with a Toyota Camry, I didn't have to. And she was like, "Yeah."

I called my Mom and told her what happened. Both my parents reached 15-20 minutes after. When my Mom first saw the car, she was like, "Huh, the car is so badly damaged!" I just kept quiet. We then proceeded to the police station to make my police report.

At the police station, I filled up this form to report what happened during the accident. After, I was asked to see Sergeant S. in his office. His office was the size of my toilet, I'm serious! Anyway, I received a RM300 ticket. I was super upset, but I deserved it. Thank God he didn't confiscate my license or suspend it. So, I was really thankful that I still get to drive.

Today was an experience. Good or bad or scary, it's still an experience.

"I thank God for His protection. Over me and my best friend."

"Too late for could haves and should haves. Time can't be turned back. I can only regret."

"I'm pretty mad at myself."

P.S. Some of the sentences used in conversations are paraphrased.


--S1