So Far Away

You know it hurts when that feeling you've been running away from comes back. When you ran out of things to do to distract you away from the pain. You're just stuck in reality and it keeps hurting so much. All my life, I've never bothered myself with those problems, I always ignore them or pushed them aside and put on a happy smile and act like nothing hurts, nothing's bothering, and everything's just perfect. I kept those tears in, I stayed strong for everyone. I hid the pain away. I kept myself distracted from it so that I don't have to think about it. I keep myself busy so it won't bother me anymore but I can't do anymore, it just hurts so much. I'm not that strong person anymore that I used to be. I've done this faking thing for so long and all it gave me is fake smiles and emptiness. What hurts the most is that, when I finally got closer to that person who I love so much, he went away, it was his time to leave and worst of all, I didn't even get tell him that I love him so much no matter what had happen and he was the best person anyone can ever have.  I lost everyone that was close to me or people that meant something to me, all because I didn't want to see the truth. I never could see the truth, I always hide from it. I don't wanna feel anymore pain. 




I running out of things to distract myself with. So, I pray. I pray to GOD that He'll help me be strong again, to smile with happiness and to never feel the pain every again. And, I'm in a process to be stronger, to start on the road to recovery after so long but it's not always. To face the truth, and be strong. 










I know I'll be fine when I have GOD with me. 

♥